Most couples you talk to will tell you they're in a happy marriage, but even those happy marriages aren't perfect yet no one tells you that. Before a marriage you never think that maybe your spouse will require more affection than you, or maybe they will enjoy their alone time more than you. I talked with many people before marrying my best friend. I was told to talk to him about our future, what his plans were and to make sure mine lined up with his. I was told to ask him about his family situation and see if they were someone who I could call family as well. Before getting married my husband and I had all of these conversations and more, I knew that I wanted to be aware of his faults and struggles and see if I could learn to love those as well. But no one prepared me for a marriage where our love languages were different.
I know that sounds like such a simple thing, we took plenty of love tests together to figure out our different love languages, but that's all they were, tests. No one ever taught me what to do with the results, no one told me that I would need more affection than my husband, that he would feel love through the little things I do for him, like cook and clean the house.
No one explained to me to stay mindful of your friendships with others, how something so harmless can turn into something so dangerous so quickly and easily. "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else." (D&C 42:22) I've always thought that this was such a simple commandment, I never knew how hard "cleaving" in all things would be. I never realized that it was an everyday decision, when I wake up I promise that I will cleave to my husband and none else. Marriage is a working progress, it's not something that I can sit back and let happen to me.
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