Sacrifices in a Marriage:

I enjoy talking, I always have. As soon as my husband comes home from school, work, sports or just hanging out with friends, I'm already excited to tell him how my day went. I tell him everything about my schooling, the drama between friends and family, what I'm making for dinner and just my thoughts. So naturally I married a man who listens very well (lucky for me, I can't say the same about him.) One thing I've started to notice is that I'm not the best listener. I'm not good at asking my husband how his day went, how his friends are doing or how school is going for him. 

Marriage means taking sacrifices, the sacrifice that I need to be better about is sacrificing how selfish I am. Everyone focuses on "what we give up for marriage" without realizing that through these sacrifices we are rebuilding ourselves with our spouse. These sacrifices help us to become one with our spouse just as Heavenly Father intended. This is a lifelong journey, I don't think it's something that we'll perfect in this life, or at least I know I'm no where close to achieving this.

But sometimes it's hard to continuously make these sacrifices, sometimes it's hard to feel like you're the only one making an effort, the only one contributing to the marriage. Sometimes I'd like appreciation or a pat on the back telling me I'm doing a "good job" for making all the sacrifices that I am for the sake of my marriage. Does he even notice how much I do for him? What does he do for me? I spend all day at the house trying to make it into a home, I've never been good with staying home. I like going out, but by the time he comes home he's tired from a days work. Am I sacrificing too much? Do I need to sacrifice more?

Sometimes it's hard for me, I've spent my whole life being selfish and looking out for myself. It's hard putting someone else first now. I'm used to being selfish.

Finding the Perfect Marriage

                                                

Growing up marriage was described as a fairytale. Through the church we get this idea that we marry in the temple, a castle look alike, to the man of our dreams, our prince, and then live happily ever after. No one really talks about what happens after the wedding, after a few years, what now? Two years down the road and I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. Marriage seems to be going well, but many couples claim to have a happy marriage. How can I insure that my marriage is everlasting? How can I make sure that my husband will constantly love me, how can I always be enough for him so he doesn't ever have to look for something better?

In two years of marriage the one fear I've had is not being good enough, so I've worked countlessly to try and impress my husband. I don't know if these are the correct intentions, but I have learned that through serving my husband I feel happy and more connected with him. My prayers are constantly filled with how I can be a better wife for my husband and how I can start working on being a good mom for our future children. 

I've always felt like I was close to my Savior, I've always tried to do my best at going to church, reading my scriptures, praying and being a good person, but I have never been more searching than while being married. Through marriage I've worked even harder to never forget my prayers or my scriptures, going to church or serving others. I've never prayed so much in my life, I've never tried to be more selfless than while being married to my husband. When they talk about the marriage triangle and that you grow closer to each other as you grow closer to Heavenly Father, you never really understand the feeling until you're going through it. I've never felt closer to Heavenly Father than being married. Yes I still have my insecurities and I'm sure satan works hard keeping these at the back of my mind, but I've been able to grow more as a person through the help of my Heavenly Father. 

So is there such thing as a perfect marriage? I don't believe that you can achieve perfection but it's our job to try, and through Heavenly Father's help we'll get closer and closer every day. 

Family History

Whether we like it or not our family influences a lot of our decisions. Marriage is no acception, it's the way you process it that makes all the difference. Growing up in a lot of the relationships in my family have a lot of abuse, some related to drugs and some alcohol. My parents have both grown up in this type of environment and thanks to their determination for change my siblings and I didn't experience this first hand. I've seen success and failure within many marriages around me, thanks to my family I've learned what I want in my own marriage and what I don't. When getting ready to marry, my decision was based off of what I've seen and experienced through my own family.

I've learned not only the type of man I wanted to marry, but I learned what kind of marriage I want as well. I've learned that in a marriage both partners have to be constantly working towards a better marriage, that it's a covenant, not a contract. A covenant is something that I need to always remember, because I think this is what makes a difference when things get hard. If you remember that you've made a covenant and not a contract it's a little easier in my opinion. Knowing that I have made a covenant reminds me that I promised to be with my husband even in those difficult times where it seems as though it would just be easier to quit. Marriage today is but a simple contract that we can easily tear up when something happens that we don't like. If we make the promise to ourselves to remember that this is a sacred covenant than I truly believe that we will work harder on our marriages.

Respect and Love

Marriage used to have one definition, between man and wife, yet today it has changed completely. Marriage can be between man and wife, wife and wife, man and man, or you don't even have to make that big of a commitment and can just live together instead if that makes you more comfortable. Why has the definition of marriage all of a sudden change, and how has it affected us? 

Through the new laws regarding same-sex marriage our nation has been divided in half. It's not good enough for us to be able to practice what we believe, but we have to put down those who don't agree with us. If you don't support same-sex rights then you're a horrible person. If you do support same-sex rights you're a horrible person, the hatred goes back and forth, back and forth. We tend to forget the whole reason our ancestors fought so hard to be freed from Great Britain, the freedom of religion, the freedom to choose. We don't have to agree with each other, everyone is different, and everyone has their beliefs, but we do have to respect each other.

I believe that marriage is sacred, I believe that marriage should be between a man and a wife, because this is the only way to create a family. I believe that the gift a woman has to grow a child within herself and then to continue to nurture the child all of their life is a wonderful thing. I believe that the husband should be the protector, his job is to watch over and take care of his family. These are the principles I will teach my children, but I will also teach them that it's okay for others to disagree with you. If you don't believe in marriage the way I do, that's fine. If you don't like the way I describe a family that's okay, we don't have to agree. We were given our agency to choose our own decisions, and what a wonderful blessing that is. 

Whatever our beliefs are, I think the most important thing is that we need to learn to respect each other. If we can't learn this simple task than our nation will continue to divide, and "a house divided cannot stand." I believe marriage is sacred, between a man and a wife. I shouldn't be ridiculed for believing this, no one should be ridiculed because of their beliefs.